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sarnia de la mare

Sarnia de la Mare FRSA

Artist • Composer • Educator

Sarnia is a multidisciplinary artist and founder of Tale Teller Club and Blink Friction. Their immersive work blends art, sound, and story—exploring identity, transformation, and the beauty of otherness.

As a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts and founder of the Sarnia de la Maré Academy of Arts, they empower creatives to think radically and create fearlessly.


Sunday, June 29, 2025

Mills and Swoon™ “The Duke of Dunstable’s Seduction” by Sarnia de la Mare



Mills and Swoon: “The Duke of Dunstable’s Seduction” by Sarnia de la Mare, for Tale Teller Club Publishing.

Lady Antonia Bellweather had three secrets, well a lot more than three but I will break readers in gently.

She couldn’t ride side-saddle without swearing.

period drama gent horse corset
Her French maid was actually from Glasgow.

And she’d once had a highly inappropriate dream about the Duke of Dunstable involving marmalade and a velvet chaise. (It was a strange dream that also involved the butler, but luckily, things had become hazy at that point.)

Sadly, the Duke had yet to reciprocate any marmalade-based fantasies, though he did occasionally stare at her bodice as if trying to recall where he’d left his monocle.

Her Ladyship had spent all season attempting to draw more of the Duke's attention. She had even asked assistance of her friends, a lady of ill repute and even her French maid (just in case the things they say about Glaswegian girls was actually true).

The Season was in full swing. Antonia’s dance card was crammed with tedious barons and sweaty viscounts who spoke only of dogs, land, and their mother’s digestion. But the Duke — Augustus Thorne — was different. He smelt faintly of scandal and expensive leather. His wit was as dry as her aunt’s sherry. But, most annoyingly, he refused to flirt back. The Duke was most certainly the most eligible bachelor in London and there was fierce competition from other debutants. Even the odd widow sitting on a huge pile was proving to be a thorn in her Ladyship's silky smooth rump.

Until the day she fell out of a tree.

She’d been retrieving her hat, which had flown off during an extremely fast canter and landed in the crook of a particularly uppity sycamore. Scrambling up in her riding habit (with the kind of agility that would have horrified her governess), she lost her balance — and her dignity — and landed flat on her back in a hay cart. Her skirts had turned themselves inside out and covered her face, completely exposing her new bloomers. (At least they were French and not from Glasgow.)

And who should be there mounted ion his stallion holding a hunting crop with one raised eyebrow?

“Lady Antonia,” said the Duke, with a slow smirk. “Is this a regular occurrence or should I be concerned?”

Her Ladyship peeled the crinolines from her blushing cheeks.

“I assure you, Your Grace,” she gasped, winded and scrambling around to retain some modesty, “I climb trees entirely for sport. And hats.”

He moved his horse closer, his voice sinfully low. “That wasn’t very ladylike.”

"I did it on purpose to get your attention'' she lied.

Then he laughed — that deep, sinful kind of laugh that makes one’s stays feel over-tight — and offered her his hand.

"Your undergarments have my full attention, your Ladyship."




The Duke pulled her towards him and mounted her side saddle on his horse. No swearing this time. His nethers were pulsing.

“I should reprimand you,” he said, squeezing her tightly, “for unseemly behaviour.”

“I dare you,” she whispered.

He clicked his heels and they galloped to the hayloft. Her heart was pounding, a mix of desire and a touch of trepidation that was also, let's face it, exhilarating. The Duke reprimanded her with his manliness. No marmalade was required, and no butler intervened, thankfully.

Three weeks later, the banns were read.

The Duke of Dunstable had finally met his match, a woman who climbed trees, defied etiquette, wore the most lustful knickers in London, and knew exactly how to take a gentle reprimand with the eagerness of a virgin, again and again.




© 2025 Sarnia de la Mare.

A Mills and Swoon Short for Tale Teller Club Publishing.


Thursday, June 26, 2025

The Olive Grove by Mills & Swoon™ Daily Romance Short Audiobook and Text #mill&swoon

 

sexy man book cover illustration

📘 The Olive Grove Agreement: A Hot and Hilarious French Villa Romance – A Mills and Swoon Short

Subtitle (optional):
One reluctant heiress. One infuriatingly hot ex-chef. And one very firm agreement made over figs and fornication.


Title: The Olive Grove Agreement
A Mills and Swoon Short
Where inheritance meets innuendo and everything smells faintly of rosemary and bad decisions.

Cass Winter was not in the mood for a French villa.

She had deadlines, a dodgy knee, and the last time she tried to drive on the right side of the road she’d accidentally parked in a fountain. But apparently, her great-aunt Iris had passed away and left her La Maison du Hérisson, a once-grand property in the hills of Provence. And so, armed with nothing but SPF 50 and mild resentment, Cass arrived.

It was hotter than she expected. And louder. Especially in the garden, where someone was swearing in French and violently attacking an olive tree.

She squinted.

He was shirtless. Tanned. And wielding garden shears like they owed him money.

“You’re not supposed to be here,” he barked, in the polished English of someone who’d once dated a model named Saskia.

Cass raised a brow. “And you are?”

“I live here,” he snapped. “Who the hell are you?”

Meet Luc Brousseau, disgruntled former chef, current squatter, and all-round beautifully difficult man.

It turned out Iris had taken him in after he “quit” (read: was fired from) a Michelin-starred kitchen in Lyon for seducing a critic and flambéing her handbag. She let him stay in the guesthouse in exchange for cooking and grumpiness.

And now? Now the guesthouse had no formal deed. And Luc had no intention of leaving.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said over dinner that night, ladling cassoulet into bowls like a man who knew exactly what he was worth. “Unless you drag me out in handcuffs.”

Cass smiled sweetly. “Don’t tempt me.”

The first week was war. Passive-aggressive Post-it notes on the fridge. Loud music at strategic times. He cooked at midnight. She reorganised the pantry just to upset him.

But then… something shifted.

It began with wine. Then a storm. Then her power went out and he “reluctantly” invited her to sleep on his sofa. One glass of Châteauneuf-du-Pape became two. Then his hand was on her thigh. Then her dress was on the floor.

He kissed like he argued—deliberately, intensely, and with far too much tongue.

“Still want me gone?” he growled, half-naked, pinning her against the ancient stone wall.

“Ask me again tomorrow,” she gasped.

In the morning, she found a croissant, a perfectly brewed coffee, and a note:

Keep the villa.
I’ll keep the guesthouse.
We’ll share the rest.

—L

She sipped the coffee, watching him prune a fig tree shirtless. Again.

Cass smiled.

The inheritance wasn’t the only thing that needed handling delicately.

The End.

💋 
#MillsAndSwoon #RomanticShortStories #OneSittingRomance #SteamyReads

🇫🇷 
#FrenchVillaRomance #InheritanceTrouble #OppositesAttract #HotChefsOfInstagram

🔥 
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📚 
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Tuesday, June 24, 2025

Plus-One Problems: A Risqué Fake Dating Romance at a Hen Do – A Mills and Swoon Short

 📘 She needed a fake boyfriend for 48 hours. What she got was robes, rooftop kisses, and something suspiciously close to feelings.


Plus-One Problems by Mills and Swoon

Hen do romance book cover
Lydia March didn’t believe in weddings, commitment, or eating gluten before noon. But she did believe in being a very good friend, which is how she found herself at a country spa hotel in the Cotswolds surrounded by 12 women named things like Ashleigh and Gabs, clutching a Prosecco flute, and pretending not to panic.

“You didn’t bring a plus one?” Gabs asked, faux-concerned, eyelash extensions fluttering like a threatened peacock.

“I did,” Lydia said smoothly, even though she absolutely hadn’t. “He’s just—parking.”

“Oh. He drove you?” Gabs’ tone suggested this was code for something deeply erotic.

“Mmm,” Lydia replied, sipping her drink. “Manual.”

The problem was, this was a lie. A big, juicy one. And now she had roughly twenty minutes to produce a man from thin air, or spend the weekend as that girl—the one still “focusing on her career” while everyone else was comparing ring sizes.

She was mid-strategy (Plan A: fake gastroenteritis, Plan B: fake Buddhism) when the hotel door swung open and salvation walked in wearing motorcycle boots and an expression like he’d rather be hit by traffic.

He was tall. Rugged. Slightly damp. And holding a helmet.

Lydia moved fast.

“Sweetheart!” she called, with confidence born of too many gin tonics and not enough therapy. “There you are.”

He blinked. “I’m sorry?”

She leaned in, touched his arm. “Listen, I’ll explain later, but I need you to be my boyfriend for 48 hours or I’m going to be matched with someone called Callum who runs a beard oil company.”

He paused. Looked her up and down. Nodded once.

“I’m in,” he said. “But I get full spa access.”

He introduced himself as Nico. She had no idea if that was real. She didn’t care. He said things like “Shall we?” and held doors open and made Gabs visibly sweat. It was glorious.

By the time the bridal brunch began, Lydia and Nico had a whole backstory. They’d “met on a train.” He was “in sustainable architecture.” She was “softening.”

They spent the afternoon in matching robes, pretending to argue about houseplants and then accidentally winning the couple’s yoga class with an improvised pose called The Distracted Otter.

In the sauna, he leaned close. “You’re enjoying this.”

She smirked. “Fake love is so much better than the real kind. No heartbreak, no laundry.”

“Plenty of steam, though,” he said, eyes not quite innocent.

That evening, after the hen games (Pin the Tail on the Fireman, emotional damage edition), Lydia found herself in Nico’s suite, half in her dress, half on his lap, all tension.

“Tell me something true,” she whispered, fingers in his hair.

He kissed her like it was his job.

“Okay,” he said against her mouth. “I hate weddings.”

She smiled. “I think I love you.”

“Don’t,” he warned.

“Too late,” she said, and pulled him down with her.

By Sunday afternoon, they were both sunburnt, sore, and suspiciously quiet.

As the girls piled into taxis, Gabs cornered her. “So. Nico. Will we see him again?”

Lydia shrugged. “Maybe. He’s got a thing in Finland. Or Bristol. Or… something.”

Nico walked by, winked, and disappeared behind the check-out desk. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever see him again.

But she’d never look at a spa robe—or a man holding a motorcycle helmet—the same way again.

The End.




💋 
#MillsAndSwoon #ModernRomanceShorts #QuickSteamyRead #OneSittingRomance

🎉 
#FakeDating #HenDoDisaster #SpaWeekend #RomanticComedy #PlusOneProblems

🔥 
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Monday, June 23, 2025

Beneath the Amber Moon: A Droll and Steamy Seaside Love Triangle – A Mills and Swoon Short by Sarnia de la Maré FRSA



woman men wine flowers moon


 Beneath the Amber Moon: A Droll and Steamy Seaside Love Triangle – A Mills and Swoon Short

(A modern romantic short with heat, humour, and one woman caught deliciously between her past and a pair of very persuasive arms)



 Beneath the Amber Moon


Marina Vale had precisely three rules for her new seaside life:

  1. No high heels before noon.

  2. No men named anything.

  3. And absolutely no falling in love with anyone who owns a boat.

By Tuesday, she’d broken two of them. By Wednesday, the third was looking dangerously shaky.

Marina had returned to her family’s crumbling clifftop manor in Dorset with grand intentions of solitude and home-grown tomatoes. After a spectacularly public London divorce involving a hedge fund, a Hungarian model, and a poorly aimed breadstick, she was determined to become the kind of woman who wore linen without creasing and talked to plants. Instead, she found herself staring far too long at the new dockhand's biceps.

Aeron Maddox. With a name like that, he was contractually obliged to be hot. And he was. The kind of hot that made you reconsider feminism, underwear, and your grocery list all at once.

She spotted him on her morning walk to the bay—shirt clinging, jeans low, working a coil of rope like he was in a very niche exercise video titled Knots and Thighs.

“New?” she asked, casually clutching her water bottle like it might burst into flames.

He glanced up. Dark hair. Sharp jaw. Smile like he knew what she dreamt about.

“Temporary,” he replied, eyes dragging slowly from her sandals to her sunhat. “You?”

“Divorced,” she said brightly. “And drying out.”

Aeron laughed. A deep, quiet kind of laugh that suggested he didn’t take much seriously—except maybe the way he was currently not taking his eyes off her.

Enter: Theo Ellison.

Theo was her past dressed in corduroy and good decisions. He’d been her almost-fiancé back when she still thought brunch was a personality. Tall, charming, and entirely too nice, Theo turned up at her door three days later, holding a bouquet of ethically sourced wildflowers and the sort of hopeful expression that made her deeply suspicious.

“I heard you were back,” he said, rain dripping from his hair. “I thought… I might come and ruin your peace.”

“Oh, thank God,” Marina said. “I was starting to make sourdough.”

He kissed her cheek and smelled of bergamot and poor timing.

Things escalated, as they tend to do, over a dinner party.

Marina had invited them both without thinking. Or rather, without admitting she was thinking. Theo brought wine. Aeron brought a crab. There was jazz. There was risotto. There was tension so thick it could be spooned into ramekins and served with a sprig of regret.

When Theo leaned in to whisper something undoubtedly poetic, Aeron raised a brow and cracked a claw.

“Everything all right, Marina?” he asked, voice low and infuriatingly amused.

She cleared her throat and tried not to explode. “Peachy. Just two old flames and one highly flammable woman.”

After dessert, Theo offered to help with the dishes. Aeron stayed behind to dry. Marina, foolishly, stood in the middle like a Regency heroine on a hen night.

“I remember the sound you made when I touched your neck,” Aeron murmured, not looking at her. “Wonder if you still do.”

She dropped a spoon.

From the kitchen, Theo called, “Still like chamomile, Rina? I made a pot.”

And that’s when she knew she was absolutely, completely, and spectacularly doomed.

Later that week, Marina stood on the cliff path, barefoot and wine-glossed, watching the moon spill amber across the water.

Two men. One heart. Zero bloody clue.

But for now? She was exactly where she wanted to be. Between chapters. Between kisses. Between one delicious mistake and another.

She grinned, tilted her face to the wind, and whispered to no one in particular:

“Tomorrow, I’m buying a boat.”

The End.



#MillsAndSwoon #RomanticShortStory #ModernRomance #SteamyReads #QuickRomanceFix


#SeasideRomance #LoveTriangleDrama #SummerRomance #CoastalLoveStory


#DrollAndDelicious #RisquéReads #WittyRomance #SpicyFiction #FlirtyAndFeminist


#RomanceReaders #ShortStoryOfTheDay #IndieAuthor #DailyRomance #AmReadingRomance

Sunday, June 22, 2025

Forgetting, A love Story by Sarnia de la Maré for Tale Teller Club Publishing

elderly old hands wrinkled

Evelyn enjoyed being a good wife in that 1950s idealised 'good wife' sort of way. She read magazines to keep up with the latest etiquette. Her clothes were decent, modest, well repaired, and yet fashionable. Her husband's shirts were her pride and joy, each one lovingly cleaned and starched to a fault. Evelyn's favourite job was polishing her husband's shoes and she could never understand why some of these suffragette types would not take relish in such things.

'Could I have 4 ounces of cheddar please? My Bertie loves a bit of cheddar on Fridays.'

'Well it is only Monday, Mrs. Stanton,' said the man at the dairy counter.

'Oh yes I know that,' laughed Evelyn, 'but I like to be prepared for my Bert.'

On the way home Evelyn spotted a rather attractive vase in a shop.

'How much is that glass vase in the window?' she asked the bored looking youth at the till.

'The pastel pink and green one? It's a bargain for you Mrs., only two pounds.'

Evelyn was thrilled. Today had been a successful shopping day after all. Now though, it was time to get home in time to prepare for her darling Bert.

Bert and Evelyn had been childhood sweethearts. They had met at a disco in the scout's hall. Marriage was Evelyn's finest achievement to date.

It was twenty to six, Bert would be home soon. She took the rollers out of her hair and preened her tussled locks before covering them in hairspray. She put on her green fitted dress, Bert's favourite, with it's wasp waist and full skirt. Then she squeezed her feet into the lace court shoes Bert had bought especially for her when they went to the opera.

With only ten minutes to spare, Evelyn set the table for two. Knives to the right of the plate, with the cutting edge turned in, butter knives on the bread plate. Spoons to the right of the knife with the bowls turned up. All the handles in line one inch from the edge of the table.

The new vase was placed in the centre with some pretty flowers from the garden. The cream of celery soup, macaroni cheese, and pineapple upside down cake, filled the dining room with luscious smells. A Frank Sinatra vinyl played on the gramophone. A fresh martini was ready on the silver tray. Everything was just perfect.

'Hey mum, we're home!'

James, their eldest son, opened the living room door and entered the room with a frail old man.

Evelyn took the briefcase from her husband's shaking hand.

'You were really happy weren't you dad?' shouted James. We sat on the bench, fed some ducks, didn't we dad?

He was really good,' Freddie whispered to his mother.

'Where am I? 

Is that you Evelyn? Something smells wonderful.

'Yes darling, it's me, and I have made you your favourite meal especially as you had such a busy week.'

Bert's face lit up. 'Is it cheddar Friday? You're wearing my favourite dress. Dearest Evelyn it really is you. Oh how I missed you. Where have you been? Was I at work?'

'Mum,' whispered James, 'I'll be on my way, see you next week.'

James blew his mum a kiss and left quietly.

Evelyn rested the empty briefcase against the sideboard and gently guided her frail husband to a dining chair. 

'Was that our little James?' asked Bert.'

'Yes darling that's right.'

'What a beautiful table you always set my darling. And Oh, what a lovely vase, is it new dear?'

'Yes darling, I found it in an antique shop.'

Frank Sinatra was singing 'I Did it My Way' in the background as Evelyn welled up inside. It was so rare to see her Bertie this way.

'Evelyn, my dearest Evelyn, may I have the pleasure of this dance?'


© 2025 Sarnia de la Maré FRSA

fly book cover pink

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Rat Gang Crew and the Overgrounders (Rat Gang Crew and Friends Book 3)


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Toddle Poddle: Issue 2 (Rat Gang Crew and Friends)
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Friday, June 13, 2025

TALE TELLER CLUB™ Publishing: Welcome to Immersion You Have Reached Strata 1 Ren...

TALE TELLER CLUB™ Publishing: Welcome to Immersion You Have Reached Strata 1 Ren...:   The Book of Immersion   VOLUME 1 We are blind and still we see Deaf and yet we hear We do not touch And yet we feel For we are brave Not s...

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New song lyrics for the Book of Immersion Volume 2 by Sarnia de la Mare 'I Saw the Devil'



I am amazed that I managed to write a song this week with all that has been going on.

The first chapter of the Book of Immersion Volume 2 will be released today and here are the lyrics for the song.




I saw the devil again
Stroking the folds of your brain
He looked through your eyes
with a sigh
and said hi,
it's me again
I'm back in the game

I saw love fail today
Wretched in it's pain
I saw the killer of hope
He laughed in my face
Said you are a joke
I am the killer of love
Then he took off his glove
And the devil man said
You taste so good
When you're sad
The best I ever had

I saw the devil again
He sat on your shoulder
and said
You're looking older
And yet 
you still haven't learned
how to forget

All we got left is us
We're never getting off this bus
Cos you court the devil
And I filled his shoes
You're yesterday's news
But I'm still around
Our bond is so sound
Now I am the devil in you
I am your only friend
Let's go round again


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