Neuro Books Series Kindle Editions and Paperbacks by Sarnia de la Maré FRSA

Autism, Access, and the Real Price of Being Different: Why Diagnosis Is Hard, Why It Matters, and How to Recognise Yourself Anyway (Neuro Books Series Book 2) Kindle Edition

by Sarnia de la Mare (Author) Format: Kindle Edition

Book 2 of 5: Neuro Books Series

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A clear, compassionate, and fiercely honest guide for anyone who suspects they might be autistic—or knows they are, but can’t access diagnosis.
Sarnia de la Maré exposes the long waits, the impossible costs, the masking, the burnout, and the quiet exclusion that stops autistic adults from getting help.
This book gives readers what the system won’t:
clarity, language, tools, scripts, and a path forward.

Why is it so hard to get an autism diagnosis? Why do so many adults realise the truth only in their 30s, 40s, or 50s? And what do you do when the system won’t see you?

In Autism, Access, and the Real Price of Being Different, Sarnia de la Maré delivers a clear, validating, and deeply practical guide for autistic adults — especially those navigating self-diagnosis, misdiagnosis, burnout, or endless waiting lists in the UK and USA.

This book is for the people who have spent their lives feeling “different,” “too sensitive,” “too intense,” “too anxious,” or simply “not built for this world.”
It explains why it felt that way, what autism truly looks like in adults, and how to understand yourself even when services are out of reach.

Inside you’ll find:

✔ Why diagnosis is so delayed or denied
✔ How to recognise autistic patterns in yourself
✔ Screening tools used by clinicians (AQ, RAADS-R, CAT-Q, sensory profiles, burnout logs)
✔ The truth about masking and why it exhausts you
✔ How burnout is misunderstood as anxiety or failure
✔ Scripts for talking to GPs, insurers, and employers
✔ How to navigate systems designed to exclude autistic adults
✔ How to build a life that fits your brain — diagnosed or not

This book is not about labels.
It is about understanding yourself without shame, finding a way through broken systems, and reclaiming your place in the world.

Whether you’re exploring autism for the first time, reaffirming a long-held suspicion, or trying to survive the cost and chaos of accessing services, this book gives you clarity, direction, and permission to be exactly who you are.

 
In this series (5 books)

 

Neuro Books Series Kindle Edition

 

Autism, Work, and the Reality of Coping: When Work Goes Wrong, Why You’re Not the Problem, and How to Build a Life That Fits Your Neurology (Neuro Books Series Book 1)
Sarnia de la Mare
Kindle Edition
£6.56

Autism, Access, and the Real Price of Being Different: Why Diagnosis Is Hard, Why It Matters, and How to Recognise Yourself Anyway (Neuro Books Series Book 2)
Sarnia de la Mare
Kindle Edition
£6.84
3   

Sex Therapy for Neurodivergent Minds: Know Your Subject – Concise Books Series No. 2 (Neuro Books Series Book 3)
Trixie Jones
Kindle Edition
£4.46

MENO ND: Menopause, Neurodivergence, and the Reinvention of Self (Neuro Books Series Book 4)
Sarnia de la Mare
Kindle Edition
£4.37
5 

The Chaos Loop: Reckless Love and Self-Sabotage in Neurodivergent Relationships (Neuro Books Series Book 5)
Trixie Jones
Kindle Edition
£2.24

Pleasure in Later Years: Sensuality, Desire, and the Art of Elderescence Ch 2 #elderescenceacademy

 In this chapter of Elderescence, Sarnia de la Maré explores how sensation changes after midlife — including increased sensitivity to texture, sound, temperature, and pace. The essay reframes ageing not as sensory decline, but as refinement, arguing that subtle pleasures become more meaningful as the body becomes a finer, more attentive instrument.

Topics include ageing and the nervous system, sensory sensitivity, pleasure after midlife, embodied intelligence, and rethinking the ageing body in contemporary health culture.

A full transcript of the essay is available for listeners who prefer to read alongside the audio.

Chapter 2

The Sensory Body After Midlife

There is a persistent myth about ageing that insists the senses dull with time. That touch becomes blunted, sound fades, pleasure weakens, and the body gradually withdraws from the world of sensation.

Yet for many people, the opposite is true.

What changes after midlife is not the ability to feel, but the nature of feeling itself. Sensation does not disappear; it refines. The body becomes less tolerant of excess and more attuned to nuance. What is often described as decline is, in practice, a form of discernment.

In youth, the body absorbs sensation with relative ease. Noise, speed, texture, and intensity are tolerated, even sought after. The nervous system is resilient to overload, and stimulation is often equated with vitality. Loud music, crowded spaces, abrasive fabrics, hurried movement — these are endured, sometimes enjoyed, often unquestioned.

As the years pass, the body begins to edit.

Many people notice an increased sensitivity to texture, sound, temperature, and pace. Certain fabrics feel intrusive rather than neutral. Layered noise becomes exhausting. Extremes of heat or cold are more sharply registered. Rushed movement and conversation feel abrasive rather than energising.

These changes are frequently framed as loss. As signs of fragility. As evidence that the body is becoming less capable of engaging with life.

But sensitivity is not the same as weakness.

Sensitivity is information.

A body that registers more detail is not malfunctioning. It is paying closer attention. The nervous system, shaped by years of lived experience, becomes less interested in extremes and more responsive to fine distinctions — small shifts in pressure, subtle changes in temperature, the difference between tension and ease.

This refinement alters the landscape of pleasure.

After midlife, pleasure often becomes quieter but deeper. It no longer relies on spectacle or intensity. Subtle experiences — the feel of well-made fabric, the exact warmth of water, the cadence of breath during movement, the tone of a voice rather than its volume — take on greater significance.

These are not indulgences. They are calibrations.

The body is no longer chasing sensation. It is receiving it.

This is why subtle pleasures often become more meaningful with age. A single stretch may feel more nourishing than an intense workout. One piece of music may resonate more fully than an entire playlist. Stillness may offer more satisfaction than constant stimulation.

This is not boredom, nor withdrawal from life. It is resolution.

The ageing body is often described as worn — an instrument losing its reliability, its responsiveness, its strength. But many bodies after midlife behave less like damaged instruments and more like finely adjusted ones. They respond best to precision rather than force, to care rather than intensity.

A violin is not weaker than a drum. It simply requires a different touch.

So does the sensory body after midlife.

Elderescence does not deny that the body changes. It asks instead what kind of change is actually occurring. A body that requests slower pace, better materials, clearer sound, and more thoughtful movement is not asking for less life. It is asking for better signal.

The sensory body after midlife is not fading.
It is tuning itself — so that pleasure, when it arrives, arrives clearly.

Pleasure in Later Years: Sensuality, Desire, and the Art of Elderescence Ch 1

“This is part of my Elderescence work on ageing, pleasure, health, and embodied confidence in later life.”

Pleasure in Later Years: Sensuality, Desire, and the Art of Elderescence Ch 1 

Why Older Bodies Need Pleasure, Not Punishment

For much of adult life, the body is treated as a project: something to be improved, corrected, disciplined into compliance. Effort is praised when it hurts, restraint when it denies, endurance when it overrides discomfort. Pleasure, by contrast, is treated as indulgent, suspicious, or earned only after sufficient suffering. This moral framing of the body is rarely questioned until age makes its consequences unavoidable.

As we grow older, the body does not simply weaken; it becomes less willing to cooperate with force. What once responded to pressure now responds to tone. What once tolerated strain begins to ask for care. This is not failure but intelligence. The ageing body does not rebel — it negotiates.

Punishment stops working because the nervous system changes. Recovery slows, tolerance narrows, and the cost of stress becomes cumulative. Pain no longer teaches strength; it teaches avoidance. When movement is framed as obligation or correction, the body withdraws, quietly but decisively. Yet when the same movement is offered through pleasure — through rhythm, warmth, familiarity, or sensual ease — the body often returns with surprising generosity.

Pleasure is not the opposite of discipline. It is a form of regulation. It signals safety, and safety is the precondition for adaptation. An older body needs to know it will not be punished for participating. Only then will it offer balance, strength, flexibility, and endurance. This is why pleasure sustains movement while punishment exhausts it.

But pleasure in later life extends far beyond exercise. It is deeply human, deeply relational, and profoundly embodied. It lives in touch, in closeness, in the ease of being held or holding another. Human contact regulates the nervous system in ways no solitary effort can. A hand on the arm, a body leaning close, the familiarity of shared warmth — these are not sentimental luxuries, but biological needs that do not expire with age.

Sensuality, too, does not belong to youth alone. Desire does not vanish; it changes texture. It may become slower, subtler, less performative, but it remains an essential source of vitality. To deny sexuality in later life is to deny a core aspect of embodied identity. Pleasure here is not about conquest or spectacle, but about presence: being seen, being felt, being desired without urgency or demand.

Food, likewise, becomes more than fuel. Appetite in later life is often a site of memory, comfort, and ritual. A carefully prepared meal, familiar flavours, the satisfaction of eating well — these pleasures ground the body in continuity. A small glass of wine or a brandy taken slowly is not excess; it is ceremony. It marks time, rewards the day, and affirms that life is still to be savoured.

Love, in its many forms, becomes quieter but deeper. Older bodies respond to affection more readily than to instruction. They soften under kindness and resist under command. Companionship, shared silence, laughter, routine — these create conditions in which the body feels permitted to relax. And relaxation, far from weakness, is where healing and strength quietly begin.

The great misunderstanding of ageing is the belief that dignity lies in denial. In truth, dignity lies in pleasure that is chosen, meaningful, and attuned to the body’s changing language. The ageing body does not ask for intensity; it asks for sincerity. It wants to be met where it is, not dragged toward an ideal that no longer fits.

Punishment fractures the relationship between body and self. Pleasure restores it. Through pleasure, the body learns that it is still welcome, still worthy of care, still capable of joy. This restoration is not indulgence; it is maintenance of the self.

Ageing well, then, is not about pushing harder or enduring more. It is about listening closely, responding gently, and allowing pleasure to guide what remains possible. Strength does not disappear when we stop punishing the body. It returns in a different form — slower, wiser, and far more sustainable.

And perhaps most importantly, pleasure keeps the desire to participate in life alive. It invites the body back into relationship — with itself, with others, with the world. That invitation, once withdrawn, is difficult to restore. But when honoured, it carries us forward with grace.

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Cancer and me after diagnosis and treatments with Sarnia de la Maré for Elderescence Radio™

 

AI and Sewing, a chat from the four poster with author Sarnia de la Maré at Elderescence Studios

 

FLEX 2020 Release— The Original Sci-Fi Scribble Sketch Version | iServalan

Studio 916: A New Monthly Magazine From My Creative Studio

Studio 916: A New Monthly Magazine From My Creative Studio

Post:
Over the past year my creative work has expanded across literature, film, sound, movement, and editorial writing. I’ve been looking for a space where these different strands can coexist in a coherent, curated way.
Today I’m delighted to announce the soft launch of Studio 916, a monthly digital magazine produced entirely within my studio.

Studio 916 will weave together:

• new writing — poems, short fiction, and chapters
• notes and images from film production (916 Cinema)
• essays on creativity, process, and storytelling
• studio photography and visual experiments
• updates from ongoing projects across my artistic universe

The magazine will be available exclusively on Gumroad as a studio-edition publication — designed for readers who enjoy cross-disciplinary work and prefer to follow an artist’s world directly at the source.

Thank you for continuing this journey with me.
Issue No.1 will be published soon.

— Sarnia de la Maré FRSA


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