The Autistic, live reading by Sarnia de la Maré FRSA

My Father on the Left 1939

🎙 Podcast Episode Description 

This short literary podcast features a reading of my poem Where Do I Begin to See the Start of You, written in memory of my father. Misunderstood throughout his life, he grew up in foster care, was later sent to borstal, and carried hidden struggles that today I recognise as signs of undiagnosed autism.

The poem reflects on a boy who smiled through sorrow, masked his true self, and was judged harshly by a world that never understood him. Looking back now, with a modern understanding of autism and neurodiversity, I honour the beauty of his mind and the resilience of his spirit.

This is both a personal elegy and a wider reminder: how many lives have been marked by silence, masks, and misunderstanding — when what was needed was acceptance, compassion, and pride.


Where do I begin to see the start of you

When did you become the person that I knew

A boy in troubled times

So sad behind the smiles

Whatever did they do 

to rob the soul of you?

What life is life without its pride

without the pleasure of the ride?

And what they saw you couldn't hide

the truth of you so much maligned

If you were born today

Then they would understand

A life of masks betrays

The beauty of the mind


©2025 Sarnia de la Maré


#LiteraryPodcast #PoetryReading #AutismAwareness #Neurodiversity #FamilyStories #MemoirPoem #PodcastPoetry #ShortPoem #AutismInHistory #NeurodiverseVoices #HiddenHistories

“Until next time, may we honour the hidden stories — and see the beauty of every mind.”